Off the Record: The Confession of the "Third" (Part II)
Carne, Trauma, and the Darkness of Pleasure
In the first part, we dissected logistics, filters, and safety. But the night moved on, the wine did its work, and the conversation with H descended into deeper, darker places. H opened the door to her psyche, to the scars left by selling pleasure, and to the cynical, almost surgical view she has developed of the male gender.
What happens to your brain when you’ve had more sex in a year than most people have in a lifetime? How do you maintain excitement when you’ve seen it all? And, most disturbingly, what do you see in “perfect” husbands when no one is watching?
Brace yourselves. This second part is explicit, raw, and painful.
THE ART OF FAKING: THE ENGLISH CLIENT AND THE 4-HOUR SECRET
S3X+: Let’s talk about borderline situations. Have you ever had to act at an Oscar-winning level to save a situation?
H: You’re going to be amazed by what happened to me this summer. I have an English client, a regular for years. He’s a very nice guy, a sweetheart, but he has his vices. He always calls me high on everything and always asks for the same thing: prostate massage. He loves it. I already have the trick down: I put the condom on my finger, I know the speed, I know the exact spot... and I give him orgasms where the guy explodes, literally howls with pleasure. He always cums with my finger in his ass.
One day he calls me, his voice nervous: “I’m with my girlfriend. I want you to come, but she can’t know we know each other. Do you think you can do it?”
S3X+: That is playing with fire. And you went?
H: I went. And we spent four hours. Four hours of absolute tension pretending we didn’t know each other at all. I arrived like “Hi, nice to meet you, what are your names?” The girlfriend was a Lebanese girl, a stunning knockout, but totally innocent about her boyfriend’s real tastes.
The strongest part was the sex. At one point, he gets into position for me to do the usual. I looked at him with a face like “Are you sure? Your girlfriend is watching, this is very specific.” He nodded. I had no choice. I put my finger in. I gave him the pleasure of his life right in front of her. He was cumming screaming like an animal and I, maintaining my composure, turned to her and said with all the naturalness in the world, as if I were an expert giving advice: “Men usually like these things, I do it a lot with clients”
The girl was flipping out, but delighted with me. She adored me, wanted to go partying with me afterwards, be my friend. And I was thinking inside: “If you only knew I’ve been sticking my finger in your boyfriend’s ass for years and he pays me for this...” It was brutal tension. A single gesture, a look of complicity, a slip in the script due to the drugs, and everything would have collapsed.
DESENSITIZATION: WHEN SEX IS NO LONGER ENOUGH
S3X+: You have so much sex, you see such extreme things... Does a normal relationship still excite you? or have you gone “blind” to conventional pleasure?
H: It is a bitch and at the same time a professional blessing. I have so much sexual mileage, I have lived through such extreme situations, that my satisfaction threshold is through the roof. It is very hard for me to get excited with “normal” things because I have already lived it all, I have already seen it all.
To really get excited I need situations that are a bit crazy. Or very powerful toys. There was a couple this summer who brought out the “Magic Wand.” Do you know what it is? It’s not a normal battery-operated vibrator. It’s a device that plugs into the electrical current. The power is industrial. It is the bomb. It costs about 100 euros, but I swear if you are watching your partner fuck another person and you use that... you cum in a minute. The combination of the mental excitement of watching the voyeur scene plus the physical power of that... is lethal.
But yes, in my personal life it is a serious problem. With a partner alone... sometimes it’s not enough for me. I need the element of surprise, I need a woman in the middle. A threesome for a while and then everyone goes home. Because emotionally I can’t handle polygamy, I’m jealous, but sexually monogamy falls short for me.
S3X+: And visually? Do you like orgies, clubs like Les Chandelles in Paris?
H: I have seen so many things that my mind is disturbed. I have done parties with very crazy ex-partners, parties of excess. That’s why, when I watch porn or go to places, I am very critical.
But yes, I have even managed to get excited with random situations, moments of “I catch you doing something,” police fantasies, plumbers... porn clichés. Because vanilla sex, the “I love you very much and let’s make love” kind, doesn’t trigger dopamine for me the same way anymore.
THE DARKNESS: TRAUMA AND THE VIEW OF MEN
S3X+: H, there is something in your eyes when you talk about men in general. There is a callousness, a deep mistrust.
H: I have been in therapy for years because of this. My psychologist told me a sentence that was branded into my mind: “No emotionally healthy woman would work in this.” And it hurts to admit it, but it’s true. We all have traumas. I have traumas with my father, who was never affectionate, and I have sought that validation in the worst possible way.
When you enter this job, you see the sewer of masculinity. You see the worst of men. I see men married to wonderful women, who escape to pay for sex, for drugs, for dark vices they would never confess. I have had clients in Ibiza who are in the hotel with their wife in one room, and when she falls asleep, they order girls and go to the room next door to fuck.
I have seen a two-meter wardrobe guy who by day acts like an “alpha male”, sucking a transsexual’s cock right in front of my face with total submission.
S3X+: That changes the way you view relationships forever.
H: Totally. I no longer trust men. I have my radar on 24/7. I am in survival mode. Even with my current partner, if he tells me “nothing happened” or “I’m going out with friends,” I automatically think: “I don’t believe you.”
That is why I cannot have a normal relationship. I see the lie everywhere.
THE VOID AND THE PRICE TO PAY
S3X+: Do you ever think about quitting?
H: The problem is that money is addictive. It is “easy” money in the sense of speed, but emotionally it is very expensive. You can earn in an afternoon what someone earns in a month. I have seen girls quit, get married, have children... and return. Because, for example, they get divorced and they need quick money to survive. The wheel absorbs you.
But the personal cost is devastating. Sometimes I feel empty. The years go by and I feel like I have no life. Most people have a structure: office, home, friends, dinners. I lock myself away for two or three weeks alone, isolated from the world, only seeing clients. One after another. Each with their miseries, their fetishes, their smells. You arrive at night and you don’t want to talk to anyone, I hide the phone. I have no energy for the human. I put on Netflix, watch five minutes, and fall asleep exhausted.
S3X+: And yet, here you are. Giving us pleasure, smiling, being the perfect fantasy.
H: Because I am professional. And because, despite everything, there are moments—like with you, or with that couple with the “Magic Wand”—where I see genuine enjoyment, where the connection is real and clean, and that reconciles me a little with the world.
H drained her last glass of wine. Her eyes, which had shone when talking about sex, darkened when talking about love. She gave us two kisses and went out into the night, leaving us excited, yes, but also with a profound reflection on the fragility of fidelity, the price of flesh, and the luck we have to have each other. Thanks to this conversation, we know exactly who is watching us from the other side of desire.
The Final Step
The interview is over. The recorder is off. But let’s be honest: for you, the night is just beginning.
You have read about the “Magic Wand.” You have read about the four-hour performance. You have glimpsed the darkness and the mastery of a woman who has turned pleasure into a high-stakes profession. The stories have planted a seed in your mind—a throbbing curiosity that words alone can no longer satisfy.
She is not a fictional character. She is real.
Stop reading. Start playing.
> UNLOCK THE VISUAL: Meet H on Instagram
(Note: This link is only for readers to explore H’s aesthetic)
Very insightful. Is this a true story or a fantasy?